I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
