It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
