I like my sex mixed with concussions.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
