I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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