i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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