He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize