Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
smell my finger.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
