evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
