I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize