Fuck appropriateness.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
