We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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