God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
