I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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