And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
