K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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