i jhust puked up my retainher.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
