im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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