He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
