no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
