My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
