I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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