I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize