:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
