can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
