i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
