he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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