Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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