At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
