The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
