Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
