he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
