does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
