ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize