k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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