so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
