I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
