Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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