And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
