So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
bring money and cleavage
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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