I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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