I think i peed on brittanys purse
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
