i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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