just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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