I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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