what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
