The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
