am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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