I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Text me some of your sweat
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