Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
