I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
