spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
