On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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