Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
