I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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