Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
