I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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