The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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